Scary Things

When you think about Roller coasters, its easy to see they are really weird. They continue to get more and more extreme, and their soul goal has always been to bring you as close to dying as possible. Just imagine what coasters will be like in a few years.

"Welcome a board the 'Bitch you're dead' coaster. For this ride we will be bringing you up eight hundred feet, launching you out of your seats and over the theme park. Enjoy your time at Cease-to-exist Point."

Why is it that Roller coasters have to get more extreme? There are reasons why other exciting activities remain at the same level of intensity. Imagine if they made scary movies more extreme. Eventually they would just hire someone to come in and stab you during the previews.

The truth is, scary movies are hard to make. There are not enough options to keep movies scary. All of these movies are scary because they are all involve death. The only thing that differs is who, how and when. For every scary movie made, they had a team of people hired just to figure out how each character will die.

"Do you think Brian should die by the hook or by drowning in raw sewage?"

"I don't think either of those are scary enough, the audience needs to feel like it can happen to them. Let's have him get stabbed during the previews in a movie theater. "

It makes you wonder if god goes through the same process. If you look closely you can tell, way too many deaths have funny humor behind them.

GOD: "Oh man this one is going to be good. I am going to have the king, die on the thrown!"

On Earth: "Oh my god Elvis is dead!"

Scary movies are weird because they all rotate around death. Death is not the thing that people fear most. People fear public speaking more than death, why don't they make movies about that?

"Coming soon, the movie that taunts you with your worst fears… this summer, scream while witnessing the movie, "Just imagine them in their underwear" "

Then you would have people hired to think up weird situations or places for the characters to speak in public.

"How about Don must address his office on the importance of fire safety"

"No, the audience needs to feel like it could happen to them. Lets have him forced into give a speech on fire safety, during the previews in a movie theater."